Some individuals have said my last blog post crossed the line. Each of those individuals is a braindead idiot who, when he or she occasionally understands a joke, can’t take a joke. Still, maybe I can post something just for them. To those who enjoy Magic humor, but not insult comedy, here is a partial spoiler for my new expansion:
Creature – Cat
Cuteness 4 (Creatures deal no damage to this, any player may pay 4 to remove this ability until end of turn).
If Kittens is equipped with Mittons, it gains Cuteness 2. (Cuteness abilities are cumulative).
When Cookies comes into play, destroy target He Who Hungers or Famished Ghoul.
Sacrifice Cookies: Gain 2 life.
T, sacrifice Cookie Jar: each player exiles his or hand face down and then searches their library for any number of cards named Cookies. At end of turn, each player discards their hand and returns all cards exile this way to their hand.
Choose one: Counter target Thirst for Knowledge, Thirst, Cankerous Thirst, or Necromantic Thirst OR; if you control Cookies, take an extra turn after this one OR; untap target Kittens.
Creature – Muppet
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice a Cookies or tap Cookie Monster and lose 2 life.
Sacrifice all Cookies you control: Cookie Monster gains +2/+2 until end of turn for each Cookies sacrificed this way. Cookie Monster does not untap during your next untap step.
Creature – Jolly Saint
Sacrifice a Cookies, discard a Milk from your hand: Santa Clause gains +3/+3 until end of turn.
0: Choose a toy you own from outside the game, if you haven’t cast any black spells this game, put it into your hand, otherwise put a Charcoal Diamond card into your hand.
Creature – Turtle
Hatchling 3 (Baby Turtle comes into play with 3 time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When it has none, it loses Cuteness and becomes a 1/4.)
Creature – Angel