I’ve just gotten a bunch of spoilers for an upcoming Magic set. I guess they’re combining regular Magic with the appeal of those “Pro Player” inserts they used to put in starter decks. Anyways, the set looks pretty sweet so far. I didn’t have time to put any commentary, just wanted to get you the spoiler ASAP. Enjoy!!
Creature – Master
Put a durdle counter on Luis: put a 0/1 Pun token into play.
Put a burdle counter on Luis: win target tournament.
Having pun yet?
Legendary Creature – Master Designer
T: put 8,000 words onto the stack.
Whenever a green spell destroys a creature, a blue spell deals damage, a white spell draws more than one card, a red spell gains life, or a black spell destroys an enchantment, sacrifice Mark Rosewater.
Reporter: So you’ve been working on the game for over 15 years, spending hours and hours every week thinking about and playing Magic, and yet you still aren’t any good at it?
MaRo: Well, I’m ok, but not very good, no.
Reporter: So it must not be the kind of thing smart people get better at over time, right?
MaRo: No, it is.
Creature – Developer
As long as Aaron is in play, Enchant Worlds named Power Creep cannot leave play.
T: target creature gains +2/+2, but its converted mana cost remains the same.
Ask only whether we can print this card at this cost, not whether we should.
Creature - Human Troll
Protection from Rationality
When Stephen comes into play, search your library for a card named Circular Logic and put it into your hand.
0: Put a pie chart or graph into play, this token has no abilities.
T: Target Troll gains +2/+2 and is indestructible as long as Stephen remains tapped.
Creature – Human Gamer
T: Change the mode of target spell. (Ignore any targets of previous modes and select new
targets if appropriate).
“His deck selection is even worse than his taste in music,” said Oona. “Impossible,” replied Ajani.
Creature – Human Rogue
When Conley comes into play, exile your library and replace it with target deck from the Casual
(Anything Goes) room. Flip 3 coins, if they are all heads, you win the game.
“They probably won’t expect Chandra Ablaze.”
Creature – Ginger
(Gingers have no soul).
When one million teenage girls play a song, put a copy of that song into James’ iPod.
Making my way downtown. Walking fast. Faces pass and I’m homebound.
Creature – Human Rookie
At the beginning of each phase, mention that you won a GP playing elves.
If you ever win another GP, target Hell’s temperature becomes 0 degrees Celsius.
Creature – Human Gamer
Can block creatures with flying.
Evil played Lightning Bolt…-wait what are you saying?...- my opponent cast a Lightning Bolt…-Oh, ok. Go on.
+1: You may reveal an instant card in your hand to all players, if you do, search your library for a card with the same mana cost and put it into your hand. (mana cost checks types and amounts of mana in the cost).
0: Draw 2 cards, then put a card from your hand on top of your library.
-2: Take an extra turn after this one.
G, Discard a card: Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
G, Sacrifice Brian: Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
Creature - Human
Creature – Human
At the beginning of your upkeep, if the cards you own in all zones add up to 62, you win the
Legendary Creature – Writer
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a Has Been counter on Flores unless any player says “Never Was,” in which case put a Never Was counter on Flores.
As long as Flores has a counter on him, he is 0/5.
Tap an untapped Good Player you control, that creature becomes equipped by any Deck attached to Flores, and wins target tournament.
"Anderson Verejao is better than Kobe Bryant." -Mindless Null
Creature – Coverage Artist
T: reduce the utility of target deck tech segment by 50%.
Those who can’t play, judge. Those who can’t judge, do coverage.
Lan D. Ho
Creature – Filmmaker Gamer
Protection from Hipsters
No Pants are too small to equip Lan D. Ho.
Creature – Grinder
If Kali Anderson isn’t in play, Todd counts as the best player from that Marriage.
Creature – Master Dancer
If Osyp is the target of a Dance-off, destroy all other targets of that Dance-off.
Creature – Human
If Gerard becomes equipped or enchanted by a Catch Phrase game machine, it may not be removed from him until the end of the game.
Is his success at the game inspiring or depressing to those who wish to succeed but also would like to believe skill is involved?
Artifact Creature – Beast
Sacrifice an Artifact, put a +1/+1 counter on Paul.
When Paul attacks, he acts like he sucks, but he deals the normal amount of damage based on his power.
Zoo with Punishing Fire? Thanks for the offer, but Nassif said I can borrow his Affinity deck so I’m all set.
Paulo Vitor Dama Da Rosa
Creature – Master
T: Overstate every position you assert in any article, but win enough and be generally correct enough that it doesn’t matter.
After watching the World Cup, PV is happy the good Dutch pros quit the PT.
Legendary Creature – Master Deckbuilder
When Zvi comes into play, exile all female creatures.
"I thought I was alone on the PT until I met Zvi." –Cackling Fiend
Remove all money counters from target Master.
Creature – Alaskan Curler
If any opponent’s graveyard contains a card named Incinerate, sacrifice Steven.
Sweep a broom in front of target rock: until end of turn, target hobby seems like a reasonable way to spend all your free time.
Creature – Community Organizer
0: Name a card from the new set you believe will be a chase rare. That spell will not be a chase rare.
Those who can’t play, judge, do coverage, or write, do webcasts.
Creature – Alcoholic
T: destroy target liver.
0: ignore target lack of consent.
During your upkeep, flip 15 coins. If you win every flip, you gain 4 million life.
T: gain control of target barnacle.
"<3 DW" –YD
Whenever you flip a coin you may flip two coins and choose one instead.
Tap Sam and an untapped Matt Sperling you control: win target money draft.
Sam may not be sacrificed to hypothetical effects that cure cancer.
“If I found out my opponent's 2 year old daughter had cancer and the only cure was me NOT winning the PTQ, lets just say I hope she likes chemo, cuz I came to win.” – Someone (wink) pretending to be Sam Stein on a message board.
Number of Pro Tours Hydra
Creature - Avatar
NOPTH comes into play with 5 Pro Tour counters.
At the end of your turn, if your life total is 5 or less, remove a Pro Tour counter from NOPTH.
At the end of your turn, if your life total is 20 or more, and NOPTH has less than 5 counters on it, add a Pro Tour counter to it. (this last ability was removed the card just before printing)
Best year ever for MTG, let's leverage this into more multiplayer box sets!
When any player requests a ruling, flip a coin, the winner of the flip wins the ruling.
When any player requests a ruling, flip a coin, the winner of the flip wins the ruling. Call the head judge on appeal.
Team/2HG Pro Tour
0: put a Vote for Return counter on Team/2HG Pro Tour. Any player may play this ability.
When Team/2HG Pro Tour has thousands of Vote for Return counters on it, ignore it.
“Dude, I have a family”
If you would lose the game, instead your opponent concedes. Opponent may choose to ignore this card’s effect.
I didn’t let you take back that attack, but you’re asking me if I want to concede? Hmmm, maybe the answer is over here on this result slip, lemme take a look…
Elder Dragon Highlander
When EDH comes into play, the game is a draw. Each player reveals his or her library to all other players, discusses how cool their deck is, and has a good laugh.
Isn’t this a better version of Magic than playing “net decks”?
Adam Yurchick’s Mom’s Vagina
Destroy target land.
Creature - Ex-Lawyer
T: choose a stock, pay 5 life, flip a coin, if you win, gain 6 life.
If Matt Sperling is in play, Tom Martell must attack each turn if able.
Obscurity, awkwardness, incompetence, a Jedi craves not these things. -Yoda.
Megan Holland's Cupcakes
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains 10 pounds.
Legendary Land - Island
When Curacao enters the battlefield, exile all Dutch, German, and Broke Pros as long as Curacao remains in play.
Legendary Land - Desert
At the beginning of your upkeep, you gain 2 life and 1 poison counter.
Average Person Who Comments on My Articles
Creature - Zombie
"They groaned, they stirred, they all uprose, / Nor spake, nor moved their eyes; / It had been strange, even in a dream, / To have seen those dead men rise." -Samuel Coleridge, "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner"